August, 2009

If I had to sum up what Kevin has taught me about dogs, and about life, in one sentence (and those of you who know him know how hard this is) it would be to be conscious in every moment. Though raising a puppy using Kevin’s Natural Dog Training can seem laissez-faire, it is in fact, an exercise in pure deliberateness. It is the work of being alive and awake in every moment.  For a day dreaming along many tangents kind of person, it takes me a lot of discipline for me to do this.

This clarity came to me the other day when a guest was in the back yard with my children.  He had left a travel mug on the ground and as I walked by with little Hero, after she had jumped on everyone a few times, she grabbed the lid and started chomping away.  My friend bent down to grab it from her and in my over tired brain this is what I saw.  As he bent down and started moving towards her to grab the lid, it was as if he had picked up a little bubble wand, dipped it in some soap, and started to blow a bubble around her little body.  With time, with numerous grabbing of her and things she chews upon, I could see how this bubble would strengthen and grow and some day be really hard to get through.  I could literally see how with “teaching her not to jump”, by pushing her away from my body, I would create a bubble around myself which would make her repulsed by me, instead of my goal of being a magnet to her.

I told my friend that if it was on the ground, it was free game, and he backed away, so of course no damage was done.   It was though, illuminating.  I want to be able to be in her physical space, I want her to be free to jump into mine.  This is how the bond of trust will grow.   There will be no trust if we are each in our own little bubble. Isn’t this what being in any relationship is about?

I need to be wake up a little more everyday and make sure nobody leaves anything on the ground that can’t be chewed.  (I have three boys. What do you think the chances of that are?)

Bubbles are pretty when they carry Glinda the Good Witch of the North to us, or on a sunny day when are children are playing carefree in the yard.  But they’re not good when they insulate us from our dogs, or maybe more importantly, from other people.

One thing my eldest child can not reconcile is the “purity” of his childhood compared to that of his younger siblings. He is incredulous that he saw his first PG13 movie at age 13.  He didn’t watch television;  we had puppet shows instead. He used beeswax crayons and played with wooden toys imported from Germany.  Nothing non-organic or of questionable nourishment ever passed his lips; the first sweet he ever had was a marshmallow at age 10.  All this diligent purity was tossed into the wind when he found himself the proud brother of twins.

I think the twins’ first food was pizza. They saw the Lord of the Rings Trilogy at age 6.  Their favorite toys were plastic Batman and Robin they got from the flea market.  “You’re feeding them that!!”, my eldest would yell.  “You’re letting them watch that!!!”, ” You’re letting them do that!!”.  “Why did you torture me!”

Staying pure in a world full of  opposition is a difficult thing. Especially when you have twins;  sleep deprivation, exhaustion, nursing two babies, carrying two babies and more sleep deprivation.  It reminds me of the part in the Odyssey where Odysseus is traveling past the Sirens; if he hears their voices he will follow their call.  He has his men tie him to the ship’s mast and tells them that no matter what he does, they are not to release him.  This is how Odysseus makes it past the Sirens and this is in part what all parents must do who are attempting to raise children in a way different from the popular culture. Where is this long winded preamble going? To raising a puppy of course.

With my first dog raised using Kevin’s methods, I was beyond pure. I was the picture of perfect execution.  With my second dog, Hero, I kind of did the same thing I did with my second and third children; I relaxed.  And boy did I get busted!

Kevin had both dogs for a week. When I picked them up I of course did not even acknowledge Athos, I was taught not to make a fuss over him.  But the puppy!! ” Oh puppy puppy snuggle bo bo oh how I love you smoochie puppy” were about the first words out of my mouth, all said in the Alvin the Chipmunk voice.  I even did this more than once.

We took the dogs into the woods for a walk.  First Kevin said “You know, she didn’t bite my legs even once.” (Meanwhile the kindergartner in my head is saying” OK Mr. Smarty Pants, Glad your boots aren’t ripped”) Then I do the Alvin the Chipmunk voice again. Kevin says ” You really shouldn’t do that, it’s frying her circuits.” Then I get the previous reference to the lack of biting. I say “Okay, I’ll try.” Silence. The heavy kind. Then I say “I’ll try really hard.”  The sound of silence. Alright, I won’t do it then! (Said while pouting) “Good”, he says because it’s all he has to say. I’ve slipped and starting doing something that serves me but hurts my puppy.  Gratefully, I’ve been tied back to the mast.

By the way, using magic marker instead of beeswax crayons doesn’t seem to have done any damage to my twins. Their diet is admittedly horrible, but the early film watching has turned them into film buffs. They are the only 12 year old I know who think it’s weird not to know who Franco Zeffirelli is.

Hero hasn’t bit my legs in 5 days.